This week I was sitting on the phone with tech support, and over and over again, I thought of things I could have done while I sat there — waiting — not living my life.

Are you “on hold” in your life?

Are you waiting for a spouse to come along, or for him/her to act better towards you? Are you waiting on the motivation to get your home organised? Are you waiting on a great job to fall into your lap? Are you waiting on winning the lottery to plan your retirement?

Take control of your life! The only difference between you and the people who are getting what they want, is that they kept moving and you didn’t. Here are some ideas to help get you started again.

Focus on the who, not the what.

If you find that you’ve been stuck in a goal for a while, try restating it in “who am I” terms instead of “what I want” terms. For example, instead of saying “I want to lose 10kg”, say “I am someone who takes care of himself by keeping my weight around x (ideal weight) which is a healthy range for my height and age.” Be as specific as possible. Notice that “I want to be someone who helps others” could mean anything from a mechanic to a doctor. Focus on who you want to be. Then ask yourself what actions would be fit with your desire “to be” instead of “get”.

Analyse it.

Did you know that a full 80% of your problems come from 20% of your life? It’s true! Is your job bringing your down? Or maybe you love what you do, but the culture of the job is not a good fit for you. Do you need to start respecting your wants and needs more? Go for that promotion, or start a new job to continue growing yourself.

Find what that 20% is in your life, and start working to make it happier, more efficient, more satisfying.

Assign Value.

A big mistake I see in my coaching clients is not assigning a true value to your time, to your energy, to your money, and to the “real estate” (space) of your home or office. Realise that for each thing you say Yes to — from a pair of shoes to watching a movie — you have said No to something else. Always ask yourself – is this *valuable* enough to me to crowd my life with, or even to bump something else from my closet, my schedule, my money?

Establish routines.

I know you have “pizza night”– so why not “bills night” or “clean your room night” as well? Like the pizza night, routines show up in all kinds of ways in your life. While they sound boring and confining, routines are actually freeing. The same way you don’t have to think about dinner on pizza night, instead of being worried and anxious on Monday morning wondering if you remembered to pay the bills, you’ll feel calm knowing that you always go to the bank on Friday afternoon and pay bills on Wednesday evening. Routines take the stress out.

Accept Control-ability.

We’ve all heard about deniability from political spin doctors. I’d like to introduce the concept of ‘controlability’ in your daily life. You can’t control world politics, but you can vote. You can’t control terrorism, but you can be prepared in your own home. You can’t control the construction crews on the freeway, but you can control how much time you allot for a trip. Knowing what you can control and exercising that, and letting go of what you can’t, puts you in the driver’s seat of your life.

Feeling good about yourself will come naturally when you stop waiting and start creating the life you really want to live. Stress and frustration will be reduced as you make choices instead of being pushed around. You’ll experience a higher sense of self acceptance, and the self improvement will become easier and easier.

Stop waiting, Start today!